In our last article, we covered what the 5 primary love languages are. However, knowing what they are isn’t as useful as knowing how to use them. Today’s article is where you’ll learn what to do with these love languages to make communication with your partner easier and more fulfilling.
What’s Your Love Language?
After reading through the list of love languages in Part 1, at least one of the languages must have stuck out to you. There might even be more than one that applies. Which language do you understand? Is it physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, or acts of service?
When you know what your love language is, you can communicate that to your partner. If your partner is willing to put a little work into your relationship, they’ll be grateful to learn your love language. After all, understanding why past actions may not have gotten through and how future acts of love can be more easily understood is a huge relief.
What is Your Partner’s?
Not so fast though! You feeling loved is important, but equally as important is ensuring that your partner is also feeling loved. If you haven’t gone through our last article with your partner yet, we encourage you to do so. Let’s see if your partner can figure out which language gets through to them.
Speaking Each Other’s Language
The most important thing about learning each other’s love language is learning to speak them. If you and your partner have different love languages, it might have been the reason why you were feeling unloved. People tend to speak their own language fluently. However, if your partner doesn’t have that same language, your love might not have been getting through to them.
Talk to your partner about the specific things in their language that work best for them. Every language has its dialects and the primary love language might not be specific enough. If your partner has a gift giving love language, they might specifically like it when you buy them flowers. Others might like food gifts or handmade gifts. If your partner likes physical touch, they might have a special focus on sex or particularly sensual touching. However, some others might not mind the amount of sex but really want more frequent casual touches, like sitting close or holding hands.
Mending Your Relationship
When you begin to understand what things make your partner feel loved, you’ll be much more capable in expressing your love to them. You might be surprised by how effective it is. While you two might have had your spark dampened for a while, the implementation of love languages may suddenly cause it to flare.
An impromptu kiss for someone who prefers physical touch may brighten their whole day. Talking about your day or asking about theirs might fill the need for quality time. Saying thank you and ‘I love you’ to someone who prefers words might make them feel appreciated like never before. The power of knowing how to communicate with your partner is unbelievable when you finally understand how to do it.
If you want to read more about the love languages, click here to find the original book by Gary Chapman. It’s highly recommended and explains these much more than we can through our blog. If you’re in need of a third party, consider scheduling a counseling session.