Managing to avoid arguments and remain happy in a committed relationship can be quite a challenge for any couple that stays together, but for those who have a tendency to sabotage their own relationships, it can be almost impossible. If you think that you might be causing problems for yourself in your relationships, take a look at the tips below, and see if you can adjust your behaviour in the future. With a little perseverance, you may be able to solve a lot of your own personal relationship issues without any professional assistance.
Our Relationship Therapist in Toronto Speaks About Self Sabotage
If you find yourself indulging in any of the negative behaviours and thought patterns listed below, try to stop for a minute and assess the situation objectively. With practice, you may be able to curb your self-sabotaging tendencies and enjoy a happier home life.
- Making Everything About You – It can be very difficult to avoid taking your partner’s actions personally, especially if they hurt your feelings, but in most cases this will certainly not have been their intention. If, for example, your partner seems to be prioritizing their career over your relationship, this is probably because they are under pressure at work and not because they are losing interest in you. Try to look at their actions objectively and see things from their perspective.
- Not Allowing Your Partner the Opportunity to Have Their Say – Whether you are having a disagreement about something you have done that your partner is not happy with or something that your partner has done that you are not happy with, it is important not to try to shout them down and impose your point of view on them. Even if you are sure that you are in the right, give them the chance to have their say in a calm environment. Your primary goal should be to reconcile your differences, not to prove that you are right, which takes us neatly to the final tip from our relationship therapist in Toronto.
- Expecting Your Partner to Share All Your Opinions – When we first start a new relationship, we delight in the many qualities that make our partners unique but once we live together for a period of time, some of these differences may start to annoy us. The trick to avoiding this situation is to accept that everybody is different and to focus on the feelings you had when you first met your partner: continue to revel in their uniqueness, their quirky little ways, and do not expect them to agree with everything you say or want to do.
If you have tried to stop your negative behaviour patterns but still find yourself sabotaging your own relationships, do not be afraid to ask for help. Our relationship therapist in Toronto can almost certainly help you to overcome your problems.