Relationship counseling typically has a good success rate but there are some instances when counseling efforts are doomed before they ever have a chance to get off the ground. To be successful relationship counseling in Toronto requires the active participation of both parties, and by that we don’t mean they should both be yelling. We mean they should both be there for the right reasons and both possess a willingness to see the process through. Because that is what counseling is, a process, not an event. Below we are going to take a look at some of the ways couples set themselves up for failure when it comes to relationship counseling.
Reasons Relationship Counseling in Toronto Sometimes Fails Before It Begins
Here are 5 ways relationship counseling is sometimes undermined before it ever begins.
- There are deeper underlying problems – Sometimes it becomes apparent during counseling that the real issue goes back to a time before the couple met. Instances of childhood abuse for example change the way a person relates to the world and other people, including those they become emotionally involved with. In this case the relationship issues were likely a symptom of the deeper underlying issue and relationship counseling won’t really help.
- Using counseling to impose your will – As unfortunate as it is some people approach relationship counseling as an opportunity to impose their will on their partner. They make reconciliation dependent on their partner accepting something they may be fundamentally opposed to. This is a recipe for long-term disaster.
- Not setting goals – In some instances couples engage the services of a relationship counselor just because they had a few arguments or one party isn’t happy but can’t really say why. Relationship counseling works best when both parties agree on a set of goals up front. Typical goals may include developing tools to change bad habits or finding a way to respectfully disagree.
- Not being comfortable in the counseling setting – Sometimes a couple will sign up for relationship counseling even though neither partner is particularly fond of the idea of talking about the intimate details of their life in front of a stranger. What typically follows are long silent sessions where neither partner wants to take the lead and nothing is accomplished.
- Choosing the wrong therapist for you – It’s crucial that both partners feel comfortable with the counselor. However, not all counselors will be a good match for all couples. If you are not completely comfortable with the counselor and yet you proceed anyway it is likely that at some point that antipathy will raise its head and undermine the process.
Relationship counseling can be a doorway to a better future or, if any of the above mitigating circumstances are in play, it can be a dead end street. Before you enlist the services of a professional for relationship counseling in Toronto make sure you have your ducks in a row and that you’re both clear about why you are there and what you hope to achieve.