Sometimes a relationship has been going on for a long time but that doesn’t necessarily mean things are going well or future-proof. That’s why i’ve put together this list containing 6 Signs a couple is stable in the long-term.
1. A shared hobby / common interests:
Although this is something that sometimes brings people together in the first place, some couples don’t share many interests and hobbies on their free time. This can be negative in the long term because hobbies are a great way to do things together, and to deepen bonds and learn each other’s quirks. For example hard working executives, when dating, often don’t have much free time due to work and stress. Although their relationship may have lasted long, quick sex and occasional meals don’t do much in the way of forming a deep, long-lasting bond.
2. Doing something special on a regular basis
Like the shared interests, being able to do something special together for a change of pace is a very healthy sign. Couple can quickly devolve into spending their time together “alone” in a comfort zone. This means they’re together, but apart; couples that take the time to take a drive to the beach on weekends, for example, are much more likely to progress in their relationships. Wanting to experience new things with a partner means you both have trust and feel comfortable enough with each other to risk leaving your comfort zones safety to do something new. Being able to see your partner in different situations is an extremely rare opportunity because people often show different sides of themselves when faced with new situations or stresses.
3. Comfort with family / friends
An extremely telling sign of a healthy relationship is how your partner deals with your friends and family. Everyone has heard tales of a controlling partner forbidding their significant other from seeing certain friends, or avoiding seeing their family. This is a very important sign because in the end there’s no avoiding someone’s social life and history; they’ve spent their life building this and at one point they’re going to be faced with a choice: staying together and abandoning the offending friends/family, or breaking up. This type of issue is unavoidable and set’s traps that are bound to go off sooner or later. This is why i always ask how how each partner deals with the others’ family and friends.
4. How they argue
This one may seem obvious, but the reality of how couples deal with conflicting opinions is much more complicated than it may seem. For example bickering a little bit here and there is not necessarily a bad sign at all. What really matters is how they resolve the issue, and the attitudes and “negotiation tactics” they use to persuade each other. Couples that are honest and use assertive arguments to express their emotions are much more likely to solve problems while getting to know each other better. Couples that scream, use “emotional blackmail”, or even go as far as using violence are doomed to a tragic failure.
5. how much they compromise
If you don’t sacrifice anything for the well-being of your partner, and relationship, you can’t expect much from either. Obviously entirely foregoing your life to serve your relationship won’t help either! Knowing when to give up eating that food you were craving to go have dinner with your loved ones’ family is a sign of maturity and devotion that’ll go a long way in strengthening your bonds. This brings us to the last and most important sign:
6. How they communicate
Couples with honest and assertive communication skills are the ones that last longest, and can get through anything together. This type of couple “discusses” rather than “argues”, and this really sets them on the track for a long bond. Being completely honest about your opinions requires a massive amount of trust, but is extremely rewards. When you share your vulnerabilities, fears, and emotions your partner can get “in your shoes” and understand who you are on a whole different level. This type of trust takes long to develope, but couples who can’t communcate their emotions at all will face a bumpy ride when confronted with any kind of adversity.
I hope this list was helpful, and keep in mind seeing a professional for relationship counseling can greatly improve all of these signs!
